


When They Hide, Pretend to Play Along

by Chunchunnie



Category: Gintama
Genre: Bwahahaha look at em being dumb, Edited, F/M, Family, Fluff and Humor, Hisashi is just as lost as Sougo, Kagura wants to bribe someone, Out of Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:47:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25147966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chunchunnie/pseuds/Chunchunnie
Summary: In which he knows that they know but they pretend they don't so he does it too.
Relationships: Kagura & Hongou Hisashi, Kagura/Okita Sougo
Kudos: 30





	When They Hide, Pretend to Play Along

_Hell_.

It's been hell these last few days.

Katsura has continuously evaded their attacks and attempts to capture him. The said terrorist added fuel to the fire when he keeps on throwing bombs inside their patrol cars. Having no choice but to run, he'd chase them as his troop signals for the ambush. But they figure it’s all in vain when they see the terrorists laughing and mocking them off in Sakamoto's ascending ship.

He swore he saw Elizabeth deviously grin while that Yato lieutenant does a mock salute.

These untimely incidents resulted in not following the schedule for poisoning the mayonnaise bottles. Damn that Demon Vice Chief and his smirk as the rotten Vice Chief orders the First Division of impossible missions with questionable quests towards the Kabuki District. He'd try to come home on time to get his hands on those cursed condiments, but these missions always fill his day.

He was about to order Yamazaki to do his role of keeping the Vice Chief 'healthy' when he escaped, following a blue ninja.

With the correct timing and keeping track of his records, he finally caught their Chief in the cabaret club. But he's too kind to lay punishment for abusive superiors and too drunk to talk into any sadistic plans to demote the Vice Chief. It's only an inkling, but he noticed Kondou-san kept on changing the topic to _anego_ and alcohol and how greater things come to those who wait.

Right.

As he waved the hostesses and other women clinging to his arms, he spotted the glasses stand together with the ex-con. Counting this as a mission, he immediately snuffed out his cuffs and put it on the silver perm's wrists. The straight man merely glanced back and said goodbye to his guardian as he went to somewhere with packages of various sweets in his arms.

"Oi! Hey, you bastard! Don't leave me alone with this super sadist! I have to eat- I mean to check those boxes! I thought we're all in this together, you traitor!"

"Isn't this a perfect time? We can't let you have all the chocolate parfaits so go have fun while we're doing the real work. See you, Gin-san, Okita-san."

What a bunch of friends they are.

"Where's he going?"

"You heard him, didn't you?"

"Where's 'work'?"

"You know, I don't have time for this either. I have to find this Yato girl, let me go already."

"What happened?"

"I gave her money to buy- Can you stop talking like that? Is this _the_ interrogation? You're starting even when we're not in your office?"

" _Danna_ , I don't have time for this either. Just answer me and I'll set you free."

"Eh? A proposal? Is that a proposal I hear? Okay, alright, I'll stop so you stop staring at me like that, Souichirou-kun!"

"It's Sougo."

Gintoki sighed as Sougo expectantly hears an answer. A lazy voice drawled "I told Kagura to do something but she suddenly went off with this boy and now it's been hours since-"

Sougo’s brows raised as high as his emerging annoyance. "Where?"

"Uh, around that corner?" The sweet tooth randomly pointed his free hand somewhere beside Madao. But of course, the sadistic prodigy won’t have any of that.

" _Danna_."

"I don't know! Ah, but I heard them talking about Yoshiwara so maybe they-"

Upon cuffing Gintoki to the pole beside Madao, Sougo left without a word.  
  


That can wait.

He has another matter on his hands. And he's sure this matter requires him more as the police officer doing his duty.

Right?

**\--*--**

Heaven.

Paradise.

Playground of dirty men.

District of the courtesans.

A place to do this and that and everything the adults doesn't want her to hear.

Hm, what else could she describe Yoshiwara to him?

Kagura recalled her memories inside the underground red-light district and considered telling him of the huge S&M merchandise.

"K-Kagura-chan?"

"Hm."

"Kagura-chan?"

"Hm."

"Kagura-chan!"

The redhead, startled by the sudden rise of the soft voice, jumped and got into a defensive mode pose of hers. "What is it? Is someone bullying you? Did Madao land a job, yes?"

Hisashi softly tugged her arms down. “I-It’s not good to use violence, Kagura-chan. Besides, no one would probably know me from this... part of Edo. Yocchan would not possibly come here, either.”

Kagura harrumphed. "They'd better know what's good for them then, yes?"

The boy let out an uncertain laugh before pointing out the elephant in the room. Or in the underground red-light district for their case. "Um, so, what are we doing here in Yoshiwara?"

"To look for something."

"C-Can't we do it in other places? Oh, um, Kabuki District, for example? Maybe, maybe we can find something in my home?"

"Hisashi," Kagura started with a reprimanding tone. "Because we don't do radio exercises anymore, you are lacking sunlight, yes? This may be underground but look, there's the sky, see?"

Hongou Hisashi tried not to meet any pair of eyes other than the Yato friend beside him. "B-but we could do that on-"

Squinting her eyes at him, Kagura pointed out, “And you said you were glad to finally walk around outside. Was that a lie, yes?”

"C-come on Kagura-chan. I'm truly grateful, really! But this place, um, it's just that... Do we really have to find that something in... _here_?”

”This is the only place where those things are readily available, yes. So, bear with it for a while. Don’t worry, we’ll have lots of fun later!”

Giving up any futile attempts, Hisashi accepted the fact that he can't refuse his friend. This is his first time getting far away from his home and this is the first time a friend showed up on his door to take him out on a 'date'. His turquoise orbs looked up to follow the vermillion hair. Instead, he met a darker shade of unfamiliar eyes.

Kagura immediately staggered in her steps. She curses herself when she bites her tongue in surprise. “W-What are you doing here, Sadist?! You’re supposed to be _very_ busy, yes?!”

Keeping his eyes on the familiar boy, Sougo answered with a suspecting brows raised, "Arresting you two for being underage and doing ******* and ****** as far as ***-"

Kagura smacked him away with her umbrella as she takes Hisashi behind her. "Oi, shut it! Why are you accusing us of those disgusting things, yes?! Idiot! Freak! Get the hell out of here, you Super S!"

Hisashi furiously blushed and shook his brown hair to Kagura. "Let's just go and avoid fighting, okay, Kagura-chan?"

Sougo lowly whistles and nodded his brown hair to Kagura. "Come on, you like to live behind the bars, right, China?"

"Shut it, we're not done yet! Just wait until Tsukki comes and shoos the police away, yes." She pulled Hisashi and takes a sharp turn while glaring at Sougo. Hisashi tries to warn her but her strength isn't something to belittle with. He can only watch horrified as she bumps into a pole with a loud thud. Sougo snickered and took a picture of her face morphed into rage and pain.

"Kagura? What are ya doing?" Tsukuyo arrived with a few members of Hyakka behind her carrying different kinds of containers. Upon seeing the officer, who's out of place because of his uniform, she inclined her head to Kagura. "I thought it was supposed to be a secre-"

"Tsukki!" The redhead pushed Tsukuyo away as she rambles on. "Aren't officers not allowed in here? They could prevent you from incoming, yes!"

"Um, you mean 'income'?" Hisashi suggested.

"Yes, that."

"China, underage civilians aren't exactly allowed here, either."

"Shut up."

"Oh, but she's here for these." A hand waved over the ladies, urging them to come nearer. Tsukuyo looked at Sougo, missing Kagura's not so subtle movements. "Ya made it easier for us. What would ya-"

"Tsukki! Look, there's Gin-chan!" The blonde immediately turned but found commoners instead of a rotten head.

Hisashi finally got the message Kagura was gesturing him and tried to push his timidness down as he faces the officer. "O-Okita-san? Would you like to, uh, come with me?"

Sougo shrugged. "I'm not particularly keen on that side but lemme tell you, I practice S&M. I'm the S, by the way."

  
Terrified at what he implied, Hisashi felt his blood rush up to his head and immediately covered his face. "Um? Eh? Ah! That's-That's not what I mean! I don't even- not in my entire life would I-"

Maroon orbs stared at the redhead hiding all the gifts. "Those who know my name would also have to know of my particular tastes and reckless missions that'd make the headlines. Assuming it's the latter, aren't you scared of what I can do to you?"

Seeing the officer's eyes still glued to the scene before them- no, to that beautiful girl with an equally beautiful heart over there, Hisashi could only smile. "Um, Kagura-chan would often try to say some, um, embarrassing things about you. Oh, but I still respect you! She had numerous adventures to tell, and your name would often come out from her lips." He laughed. "She calls you 'Sadist', though."

"I'll be surprised if she did call my name.”

Hisashi slipped a paper on his hand. "It is interesting to hear it come from her, as if, um, that inappropriate word is already a part of her life. She would tell your n-nickname with profound hatred but I can tell she’s naturally fond of you. As a rival, as she argues.”

When Sougo questioningly waved the letter, Kagura froze while Tsukuyo asks her if they would just bring everything. Upon meeting her eyes, he understood. But before he could open the letter, probably containing some ' _aru_ ' and misspelled words in her loose scrawls, Kagura already punched him to his stomach.

The last scene he saw was Kagura being held by Tsukuyo and that boy looking like the manga Sougo rushing to him.

The letter?

Probably blown away by the wind.

**\--*--**

It’s obviously a surprise birthday party—no surprise there.

He denies the tingling in his body and the hidden childish longing tucked in his dark heart. It's not that it's exciting— could they be inconspicuous enough? —but he thinks it's not that bad, just a little cliche. Too common. Alright maybe it's not that unique to celebrate your birthday but it's fun seeing them hide it with their lack of ability to do so. Those idiots.

When he wakes up to another outrageous scene, he merely blinked his sleep away.

What can he expect from idiots hosting a party?

Who are they kidding?

That's asking for a disaster to happen.

Just by thinking of a surprise for him is moronic enough.

His eyes follow the cup of ice cream flung before him, listening to _anego_ 's guffaw and that M ninja screaming like a banshee to Kondou-san. Their Chief was making gorilla noises.

Katsura was mocking Hijibaka with that ridiculous pet of him and proceeded to hide behind Madao as the decorations and the letters of 'HAPPY' fell over them. They were worming out of the strings as Hijibaka inched closer to them.

From the other corner, that bar grandma served Shimaru-niisan a shot while Yamazaki awkwardly stood before that maid robot. The cat lady laid her hand and grins as both handed a thick pad of money.

His attention is quickly snatched by the loud singing voice of Gran Matsudaira, wrapping an arm around the naked shogun as they danced around the room. That blue ninja hides his face with his scarf and tries to take the pizza but the flushed shogun kept on pulling his scarf.

That Glasses stand smoothly counters the bottles, ashtrays, and other miscellaneous things Umibouzu and _danna_ kept throwing at each other.

On the left side, the princess, the fucking _princess_ is actually here and is watching in horror how that psycho freak of a brother— who the hell invited him here? —sweep off the giant three-layered cake to himself. 

The only ones he considers as ironically not suited here in the picture are the Isaburo brothers, drinking tea silently in the middle of the disaster while minding their own business - one keeps on texting and the other keeps on looking at the former. They're not even bothered by that blonde he met earlier, who kept on catching the alcoholic bottles Umibouzu and _danna_ threw and throws them back with much brutal force.

As he takes in the view, a pristine white uniform dominates his sight. He lazily, slowly level his eyes unto Nobume's but was met with a polaroid camera instead. When he raised his brows, she only handed him the picture and said, "Pon de ring donuts."

He watched her bring the camera back to the princess as crimson eyes met blue ones. Nobume tilted her head while Kamui assessed her figure. Soyo wonders how Shinpachi seems more flourished than her polaroid camera. He takes his eyes off the sadistic freaks and morons to look at the picture.

On the lower portion, Okita Sougo stares at the camera with his signature nonchalance and childish features. There was a drop of water on his forehead.

No, not water but a drool.

On the upper portion, Kagura lightly hangs her head to the side, her face free of any violent expressions and monstrosity. Her eyelashes resting on her cheeks tainted with icing and her lips slightly open where the drool escaped. Small hands lay on his hair, fingers interlaced within the strands as his head nestles on her legs.

"Ah, you're awake. I brought some juice." On his line of sight entered that boy Sougo looks similar with from when he's younger. It pisses him off that the boy has those blue eyes for some reason.

Out of curiosity, the birthday policeman asked, "Aren't you going home, yet?"

Instead of taking it as a cue to leave, Hisashi smiles yet again. "Oh, Kagura-chan and I promised each other to be together for this day."

" _What_?"

“But as expected, carrying you all the way from Yoshiwara to this place exhausted her.” Pulling a handkerchief from his pocket, he carefully pats her drool and icing before gently tilts her head back to the wall. "She said we were going to have lots of fun today because she was going to introduce a bunch of fun people."

Sougo scoffed. "A bunch of insufferable idiots. I'm surprised you made it this far without wanting to run away."

"I did." He chuckled before handing Sougo a glass of juice. Sougo stealthily moved from Kagura's clutch, straightening up beside her and leveled his shoulder in case her head falls. "But Kagura-chan insisted on going to this party, convincing me that when I give a gift to the birthday boy, I will never be bullied again because he's an even bigger bully. I don't know if I'm supposed to be comforted by that but I did."

They watch the scene before them for a moment, reveling on the joyous noise the others were creating. "It's _because_ of her. Because it's _her_."

Deja vu, that's what he felt when a paper is slid next to him. Even softer than their whispers to each other, Hisashi muttered, "I caught it before it got blown away by the wind."

"Why do you keep on giving it to me when she doesn't want to?"

"I helped her write it, you see, and I helped her find a gift suited for this boy she hates. I believe you deserve to witness and experience such passion of hers. I only see her ‘normal’ side when we’re together, after all.”

"One thing for sure," Sougo started, deciding to look right at Hisashi's eyes. "China would always be genuine and aggressive to anything or anyone she's passionate about."

“Are you talking about me, or were you seeing a reflection of yourself in me, Okita-san?”

”Nah, just saying you’re rather bold for going against her.”

”Spending time with Kagura-chan made me feel a lot stronger and truer to myself. Isn’t it the same for you, Okita-san?”

”... What’s your name?”

”Eh? Oh! Sorry for the late introduction. I’m Hisashi Hongou. A-“

”Then, Hisashi, lemme tell you _my_ experience handling a sadistic piglet.”

That night, Sougo didn't read the letter.

For once, he decided to enjoy the moment, making it last and letting them fulfill the idiots’ role of entertaining him as the birthday boy while he tells stories to Hisashi until the hands of the clock strike midnight.

From when they distract him away from what they were really doing behind the scenes to the efforts of thinking what gift will suit him the best is enough.

Not that he will say that.

He's OOC enough, so let's leave it like that.

But when morning came and everything's a riot, just a look at China's sleeping face biting his shoulder is enough to make him wish to live a little longer.

Meanwhile, Sadaharu brings the special gifts next to Sougo. He silently lets go of the present and decided to rest his head on Hisashi's lap instead, his tail shielding the couple from the cold. Hisashi fondly pets the dog and watch the two lost in slumber, their heads tilted and connected to one another. A small smile appeared on Kagura's face.

"Happy Birthday, Sadist."

The next day, Hisashi is offered to have a tour at the Shinsengumi compound only to be introduced to the S&M birthday gifts that Sougo eagerly explains to him.

Needless to say, Kagura gave the sadistic bastard a very good lesson after Hisashi has been forced to say the unfortunate story.

Shinpachi wipes his glasses as Gintoki sips his strawberry shake unfazed. “Somebody’s gonna do well in parenting.”

Needless to say, again, Umibouzu crushes Gintoki’s head in his hand while Shinpachi brazenly directed Kamui to the sadistic couple.

Sougo could only think of one thing as he faces Kagura’s lively family:

 _ **Hell**_.


End file.
